EP #9: “Why Franken REALLY Resigned and Why Trump Does NOT Need to…”
Mars here, man with the BIG pen and the even BIGGER mouth, to draw the line for you and to help you connect the dots about Al Franken’s resignation and how to respond when a Liberal asks you why Franken should have to resign, but President Trump, should not.
There’s a VERY simple response to that loaded question and I want to ARM you with it today.
Happy holidays, by the way and… this year’s holiday season is turning out to be a little bit o’ Christmas and a LOT o’ Halloween… I mean… with all the liberal corpses littering the ground of the sexual harassment battlefield, it looks like we’ll have to start digging graves soon.
And just today, you probably heard about… uh… Senator Al Franken announcing his resignation from the Senate floor… date of said resignation, as yet to be determined… hmph!
In my opinion it was a coward move to take parting shots at President Trump and Roy Moore, while he had the floor, and while NO ONE in the press could ask him any questions…
In keeping with his character, in my opinion.
A man who can admit NO really guilt and has demonstrated NO real remorse.
On a POSITIVE note, I’d like to point out that… uh… (assuming Franken lives up to his promise of resignation) I called it in my VERY FIRST episode.
I caught a LOT of flack from a few of my… uh… liberal-leaning friends, who… I think were let down by my public departure from the robes of a Liberal acolyte.
In other words… I used support the liberal side of the aisle, but… uh… it’s gotten TO… Twilight-zoney for me in that neck of the woods.
So, at least from where I’m sittin’, it looks like democrat leadership has decided to… sacrifice some of its own, to play the… high road card.
I mean… the dems are tossing’ people into the volcano faster than… an intern loses her dignity at a… democratic cigar club meeting.
Now… you may be wondering WHY the democrats are doing this…
Is it because they’re SO… noble and have such HIGH levels of integrity?
Methinks not… but any way it goes, it demonstrates the level of their genius, when it comes to turning ethical lemons into political lemonade.
Because… no matter what happens, the Republicans stand to lose… mmm.. moral face, if they don’t return the gesture.
But, just like you shoulda believed me a couple of weeks ago, when I said that Franken would be stepping down…
You MOCKED me Mr. Lovitt… ya mocked me…
Thanks for stickin’ up for me Kati!
But… just like… ya SHOULDA believed me when I said Franken would step down, you should take my word for it right now… ‘cause I’m tellin’ ya… there’s something…
…going on here.
You may remember that, just a couple episodes ago, in Episode #6, I told you that… uh… a former congressional IT worker in Pakistan, named Imran Awan, had illegally accessed ALL the emails of EVERY member of congress…
And then, according to Judge Andrew Napolitano, he SOLD the data he stole to… an… as yet, undetermined buyer.
Uh oh Spaghettios!
Now, why, do I mention this?
Is it so I can brag, yet again, that I’m right about something?
Well… yes… but no.
See… that stolen data included highly sensitive information about ALL 264 sexual harassment settlements made on behalf of members of congress.
I’m talking about the, over $17 million in hush money paid out, by YOU and ME… the American taxpayers, to people… mostly women… that our representatives are molesting and harassing.
Yeah, that’s right, when you’re sittin’ in rush our traffic later in transit to or from your slave cubicle, just remember that some portion of what you earn that day, is going toward paying so that some woman can be sexually ABUSED!
That… just AIN’T RIGHT!
And, look, there’s been a… slight push to have those sexual harassment documents unsealed… which is EXACTLY what I’ve been advocating…
Because, if someone actually does have that info, they could be… and probably are… using it to blackmail current members of Congress.
So, unsealing it, is the ONLY way to remove any and all leverage that that the potential blackmailer may have.
And, if you ask me…
Go ahead… ask me…
Say, “Mars, Draw the Line for me. Connect the dots, please, you big bald bearded bastard…Tell me what’s REALLY going on here!”
It’s pretty simple my friend…
The “Democrats” are tossing people into the lava pit at such a frantic pace, because they’re scared to death!
“Of what?”, you ask.
Well… of being FORCED by YOU AND ME, THE AMERICAN PEOPLE, to disclose ALL of the abusers involved the Congressional Sex Slave fund…
Because they KNOW, it’ll likely expose even more Democrats.
Couple facts, you probably wanna know…
And, if you’re a liberal, you can tune out right now, ‘cause, like I said, these are FACTS.
Uh, Fact #1) When Franken resigns (again, assuming he sticks to his statement), the Democratic Governor of Minnesota gets to choose his successor. That means, it’ll almost definitely be another Democrat.
True, without Franken, the halls of Congress will be a lot less… mmm… warm, moist, and slimy – dude’s GROSS – but no REAL skin lost for the Dems…
Hmmm… I wonder if… the Minnesota Governor’ll put another comedian in?
Maybe he’ll snag another comic from Saturday Night Live… Afterall, the first one has worked out SO WELL.
And… at least then they could replace an SNL cast member with someone who’s ACTUALLY FUCKIN’ FUNNY.
Just go ahead and snag that racist Michael Che and get his UNFUNNY AF outa there.
Callin’ the President of the United States a “Cracker”…
Honestly, that show has triggered exactly 3 genuine belly laughs from me in the last decade…
Spicer stuff was funny.
Back to facts Mars. Back to facts.
Fact #2) Members of congress cannot be… “fired” in the… traditional sense. They can only be “expelled”, by 2/3 of congress voting them out. So, this isn’t some noble act of heroic sacrifice… plain and simple… Al Franken HAS to step down,
By the way, in the history of the United States, only 20 members have been expelled – 15 from the Senate and 5 from the House. And, in case you’re wondering, of the 20, nineteen were Democrats!
Nineteen out of twenty!?
I am SO angry at the republican who screwed up the dems’ chance at a PERFECT record!
Let’s get REAL here…
Does anyone… anyone at all… honestly believe that there would be this many “principled” Democrats calling for Franken to resign if the Governor of Minnesota was a Republican and the seat would then be filled by a Republican?
The sanctimony and moral outrage by the Dems is saved for Alabama, because Democrats want that seat.
Which brings me back to my opening promise.
I’m amazed by the… whataboutism with this Franken thing.
“Oh are you gonna call on Trump to resign? What he did is worse.”
OK… just to ease the suffering of those afflicted with a SEVERE case of liberal-loony-itis, here goes…
I’m gonna go type it into Twitter, where I KNOW he’ll see it, OK?
@realDonaldTrump please resign.
Now here’s the reason why Donald Trump SHOULD NOT resign.
And feel free to use this in response to any poor liberal out there who asks.
STAFFERS or The reason Donald Trump should NOT resign comes down to ONE word…
The allegations of sexual harassment against Donald Trump were known BEFORE his election…
So, the American people, consented to have him in office with FULL awareness of the allegations…
And, as far as I know, he hasn’t been accused of anything WHILE he’s been IN office.
Plus, that Access Hollywood “Grab ‘em by the Pussy” audio clip that so many people love to talk about…
In the audio clip, he clearly says, “they’ll even let you grab ‘em by the pussy.”
In other words, they’re LETTING him… and while VULGAR as hell… It’s STILL consensual.
Not the case with John Conyers and Al Franken.
They did what they did to , WHILE IN OFFICE.
Neither American voters, nor the victims of their abuse consented.
So, as you look at Donald Trump and even Roy Moore, seeming to have a day on the beach, while Franken, Conyers and SO MANY others find themselves tossed into the LAVA pit…
Realize that this all comes down to that ONE WORD…
Our expectations were properly set.
Donald Trump gets to remain in office and if Roy Moore gets put in office, it’s because of CHOICE… it’s consensual, and that’s the difference.
And, honestly, even if it wasn’t, when my daughters were little, I’d set boundaries for them.
If one of them crossed a boundary, they got in trouble.
Every now and again, they’d try to negotiate their way out of trouble by saying, “but Sissi did something worse the other day.”
And I’d say, “Well, I’ll take that up with her later. For now though, this boundary has nothing to do with your sister’s behavior.”
Sure, bank robbery is much worse than a shoplifting, but that doesn’t mean that the shoplifter didn’t commit a crime too.
Franken does not have to be as “bad” as Trump or Moore to deserve the boot.
He just has to be bad ENOUGH.
So, next time you’re strolling through the Sexual Harassment Graveyard and someone asks you why Donald Trump’s not buried with all these other people, here’s what you say…
It’s all about… consent.
And, that’s about it for me.
I’ll let the rest of the drawing finish out here at high speed…
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See ya in the comments… and YES, I try to respond, even if you type everything in ALL CAPS, ‘cause you’re REALLY REALLY… liberal!”